One of the first bloggers that I came across when I introduced Rhyming with Wine to the world, was the fabulous Louisa at Little Book Of Sick. I instantly loved her honest, blunt and hilarious posts, and so I was utterly thrilled for her when she was asked to blog for the amazing charity: Living with Reflux – “Supporting Families with Children with Gastro-oesophageal Reflux and Reflux Disease”.
You can imagine how excited I was when she then asked me if I would like to write a guest post, and whether I could come up with something about vomit… in rhyme!?
So I did a little happy dance for a while to celebrate having been asked, and then…
I came up with a rhyme which is mostly about,
The contents of babies, and how they come out…
Those short newborn months seem to fly by so quick,
In a mountain of muslins and milky white sick.
An endless wash cycle of soggy stained clothes,
The house strewn with outfits and damp baby grows.
And as I look back with the baby days gone,
I still remain thankful to Lord Gaviscon.
(And honestly readers, I know I may jest,
But living with reflux is torture at best.)
Though now as my tots have continued to grow.
I’ve found that the vomit appears to still flow?
At first there was “Weaning” (so vomit with lumps).
Accompanied proudly by small stinky trumps.
And then came the “Solids”, with gagging galore.
(The vomit just moves from the high chair to floor).
But now we’re grown up and a big girl aged three.
Which I thought would be time to chill out quite frankly.
Yet no. As my gorgeous and cheeky Miss Tot,
Has kindly concocted an intricate plot..
My little star’s learned how to puke on demand.
In general, when something important is planned.
And if she so fancies, when she’s in the mood,
For instance at lunch if we don’t like the food.
She’ll gag and create with a deep throaty cough,
And most of the time her attempts will pay off.
And then she sits back and observes, proud as punch,
As mummy clears up her half-digested lunch.
My favourite occasion was one warm embrace,
Where then out of nowhere she barfed in my face!?
And Madam is thrilled with her new party trick,
A few little coughs and voila: There be sick!
She doesn’t yet know just how awesome she’ll be,
With her instant excuse to get out of P.E.
So what can I do? Should I scold her or hug?
Is she forcing it out or perhaps it’s a bug?
But after the coughing and retching is done,
She gives me a look that says “Cuddle me Mum”.
So after I’ve hosed down and stripped off her bed,
I lay with my baby and stroke her cute head.
And watching her snuggle with soft sleepy eyes,
Is all that’s required, as for me – that’s my prize.
Therefore this short rhyme comes with love to you all,
As we scrub infant puke off the dining room wall.
May we parents of tots, whether 3 or newborn,
Share a smile as we clear up the next rainbow yawn.
May we all be “High fived” for our character strength.
(And our vomiting offspring remain at arm’s length.)
A big virtual cheers to you all.
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